How To Tell If Your Spouse Is Cheating

It’s often difficult to pinpoint why a person thinks a spouse is cheating, it may be based on a feeling of something not being quite the same as it was. A spouse may slowly begin to change behaviours which don’t stand out alone, but when combined together, may reveal a cheating spouse.
Here are a few signs that a spouse may be cheating:

Time apart

Cheating takes time and effort, therefore a spouse who is cheating will need to be away from the marriage partner more than in the past. This may involve such excuses as staying late at work, going out with friends, taking up a new pastime or needing time to be alone.

Being secretive

Being secretive is part of a cheater’s new skill set. Secretive behaviours may include talking quietly on the phone, hanging up the phone when a spouse enters the room, unexplained charges on credit cards, spending more time on the computer and keeping the screen hidden. When asked for the reasons for these changes in patterns, a cheater will easily come up with a plausible excuse and probably try to make the questioning spouse feel guilty for asking.

Withdrawing or overcompensating

There is a lot of guilt involved with cheating. A cheater may overcompensate for cheating by paying more attention to a spouse or go in the complete opposite direction by withdrawing completely. A cheating spouse may often flip between both of these behaviours, causing confusing unexplained mood changes.

A new best friend

When a spouse is finding it difficult to communicate or connect with a marriage partner, they will often turn to another to confide in. Talking is a great way to solve problems, but when a spouse is talking to a new ‘best friend’ instead of the person they are married to, it can become a problem. How many times has the expression, ‘Oh, we’re just friends.’ been used only later to be proved false due to an exposed affair?
Any relationship needs a level of trust to survive. If a spouse is showing combinations of the above signs and their partner's gut feeling is that cheating is involved, this may indeed be the case. However, the above could also be signs of many other problems such as work stress or health issues. If a relationship with a spouse is causing concern, communication is the key to working through these problems. The first step is to sit down and talk about how both parties are feeling and take it from there. Hopefully, cheating isn’t the cause and you can both work through whatever it is.

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