Sunday, 27 June 2010

Farewell Gary

Gary owned the local butcher shop in Ruakaka (the place I used to spend my Summer holidays). Entering his shop could be confused with entering an  Adventure Sports Shop. Pictures of Gary engaged in different pursuits lined the back wall. He would often leave whatever he was doing to greet people, he made me feel like an old friend rather than a customer. He always had a smile on his face and a few cheery words (usually about fishing or skydiving). He appeared happy and full of the joys of life. Below is a copy of an article from NZ Adventure Magazine regarding the circumstances of his death.

Farewell Gary, it was a pleasure knowing you.

June 22, 2010

Filed under News

A New Zealand jumpmaster and parachute instructor has been killed in a parachute accident in Norway.

Northland’s Gary Cullen, 51, owner of the Bream Bay Butchery at Ruakaka, died of his injuries near Lysebotn in Rogaland on Sunday.

He was a tandem jumpmaster for his sister Kelly’s Ballistic Blondes skydiving business in Northland.

His partner Tracey Norton, and a longtime parachuting buddy Frank Conway and wife Helen, had been waiting down below for Mr Cullen to jump off a high piece of ground on Sunday, the Northern Advocate reported.

But a German jumper, Mirko Schmidt, told the online edition of Stavanger’s Aftenblad newspaper the New Zealander did not know the mountain and did not have the proper equipment.

“I would not recommend anyone to try this,” he told the newspaper.
Stein Edvardsen, president of the local base-jumping club — for parachutists who jump from cliffs, towers and buildings, said the New Zealander failed to get the lift he needed from his parachute, which collapsed, and he fell 30m.

Mr Cullen was declared dead at the scene, and police were notified shortly before 11pm local time.
Ms Norton is arranging to bring the body to New Zealand.

Earlier this month, the couple travelled to Italy where he had competed in the world parachuting championships for people over 40, winning two gold medals.

Mr Cullen was not only a New Zealand champion parachutist and skydiver but one of the nation’s top 10 spearfishers, and had also represented his country in that sport, said Spearfishing New Zealand chairman Bob Rosemergy.

Sunday, 20 June 2010

Making Babies

I wrote this post earlier today, visited Sunday Scribblings to check the prompt for the week and it's BIRTH. Spooky! Guess my SS for this week is already done.

When I was a girl, all I wanted to do when I grew up, was get married and have a family. I met a man who already had 2 daughters and 1 step-daughter and he told me from the start, he didn't want any more children. I married him anyway, I believed he'd change his mind because I thought people who loved each other would want to have a family together. I know that's not always the case but I was young and that was truly what I believed at the time.

His children were very young, H was still in nappies. As time went on, I became very close to them and felt that even though I was not their biological mother, I did my part in raising them. My husband decided to get a vasectomy and even though I was sad, I felt I had raised his children as my own and therefore fulfilled my dream of being a mother.

Now I'm 42 years old, my marriage has ended and I've been told that the children I sacrificed having my own children for, no longer want me in their lives. The clock has started ticking. I hear it in the background of my mind every day...tick tock, tick, tock, tick, tock.

My new man has children of his own but he knows how much I wanted to have a child. I notice how I write 'wanted'. When I was married, I accepted the fact I wouldn't have children of my own but now I have the option. It's a huge decision. What if I decide I want to become pregnant but my body has other ideas? The older I get, the higher the risks of complications and miscarriage and the harder it is to conceive.

It's all very confusing. Some days I think, I am happy with my life and I am too old to have a child. Other days, having a child is all I think about. Am I being selfish considering having children at my age? Am I wanting to fill the void the girls have left behind? I just wish I had more time to figure it all out.

What are your thoughts on pregnancy for the over 40's? What age where you or your partner when you/they gave birth?

Right, that's my ramble for the day. It's pouring with rain outside so I intend to stay inside,read my book and forget about babies for a while.

Love KB

P.S. Follow the link to SS on the sidebar if you'd like to make a contribution.

Saturday, 19 June 2010

This Too Shall Pass...but how long will it take?

I was on my way to pick up Steve this morning, tapping my foot ( I do have two feet but the other was on the gas pedal), singing along to an old CD, not a care in the world, until a certain song started playing.  I was immediately inundated with images of myself and  family and friends singing along. I burst into tears and have been feeling a little low ever since.  I know I've shared similar stories here on my blog before but writing about these things helps me work through them. Usually, I'd talk to Steve but he's at work.  I'll just ramble along here, if you don't mind.

It's hard to explain how I feel and I don't think anyone can truly understand unless they have been through a marriage or long term relationship break up. The majority of family and friends who have been part of my life for the past 15 years, are no longer around. I don't see or talk to them, it's like half my family died all at once. I know they are still alive and well and I am grateful for that but I am grieving over my loss. It's true that it gets easier every day but every so often there is a reminder and it hurts like hell. I wish I knew how to stop it but I guess it's something I will live with for a very long time.

I know I have hurt someone they love but what about me? Don't I deserve to be loved? Would they have preferred I continue with the charade so THEY could be happy? Are all the times we spent together forgotten? Do I really mean that little to them? I've know couples who have separated and I have still loved them BOTH. I wouldn't judge them and withdraw my love and support.

Sometimes, I think it's punishment for what I have done but surely I deserve to be happy. I don't regret what I did, I regret  not having done it sooner and saving C a lot of grief  and I regret the way I handled leaving but I  was desperate.  If I'd stayed on the path I was heading ..I don't think I would have been much longer for this world.

Well, I feel much better after that little rant. I can't make people treat me the way I think I deserve to be treated. I know I must focus on the positive. I am happier and healthier than I have ever been, I am loved, I have a roof over my head and food on the table. At the end of the day, I should be focusing my attention on the people in my life who do care. I'm giggling now because as I was typing this, Missy left a comment on my facebook saying that the song that reminds her or me is...I Will Survive. She's right, I'll survive...I always do.

I have one more thing to say...GO THE ALL BLACKS! I'll be cheering them on tonight when they play Wales. I'm over this soccer rubbish, finally a real man's game.

Quote Of The Day

-Scars remind us where we've been, they don't have to dictate where we're going.

Can't remember who said it.

Friday, 18 June 2010

Living With Whitesnake

Whitesnake  and I have enjoyed our couple of days off. My parents introduced us to a new restaurant called Oceans  a few weeks ago. We enjoyed the food, the atmosphere and location. Unfortunately, it was pouring down with rain so we couldn't really appreciate the scenery. The sun was shining on one of our days off so we decided to head back there and enjoy the view. 

I headed to the hairdressers the next day. Spent two hours catching up on the goss from the hairdresser and being pampered. Came home to find the dinner prepared, the housework done and the washing on the line. Isn't my man wonderful! That gave me the afternoon to relax and start a new book - Song of Susannah (The Dark Tower, Book 6), I'm already 200 pages in,hehe.

Steve has ten days off starting from Monday, woohoo! I can hardly wait.

Later gators

Sunday, 13 June 2010


Daily Ramble

Haven't felt the need to write about much recently. Usually the case when I'm happy and content. Yay!

Whitesnake and I recently returned from lunch with my parents. We are both rather full and dealing with this in our own way...I have changed into PJs with an expandable waist and Steve is napping. We ate at our favourite Japanese restaurant. We dine there once a week because we love the atmosphere, the waitress always remembers what we like to order, the prices are reasonable and the food is delicious. We invited my Mum and Dad to come with us and they LOVED it. Dad even informed us what he was ordering next time! 

Looking forward to the next few days as Steve has some time off, woohoo! We haven't made any arrangements so far, we are going to do what we feel like doing, when we feel like doing it. The weather has turned colder here in New Zealand and we've had buckets of rain. Good reasons to stay indoors, read books and watch telly. Heaven!

Speaking of books...I've finished the fifth book in the Dark Tower Series, just two to go now. Mr King began writing this series when he was a wee lad of 19, and finished the last book almost 40 years later. I have been a huge fan of his work since my early twenties and read his books continuously until I'd read them all. Then I would wait with baited breath for the next book to come out. Waiting for the Dark Tower books was the hardest as there was often a wait of not months but years. I decided last year to read the series from the beginning and I am loving it even more than the first time.

I've signed up for the Amazon Associates programme. I'll be adding links to books I read to the end of my posts. If you want to order anything from Amazon, you can follow the link from my blog and I will apparently receive a small commission. Hmm, we shall see. I signed up for google ads a few months ago, which works on a per click basis but I haven't received anything as yet :(.

Come on people, get clicking! A poor blonde needs money for her wine ya know.

Love ya
KB xxx

Friday, 11 June 2010

Inner Peace

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment ,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

Then You Are Probably.............. The Family Dog!

Friday, 4 June 2010


Whenever I feel like exercising, I lie down until the feeling passes.

- Robert Hutchins

I couldn't have said it better myself, Robert, hehe.

Actually, I'm doing ok with my exercise plan. I wore my pedometer for a few weeks to monitor how many steps I was doing. I was only shy of the 10,000 a day by around 3,000 steps, which works out to about a half an hour walk. Funnily enough, the instructions with the pedometer suggested that an average day plus a few extra steps here and there and a 30 minute walk, should do the trick. But of course, I wanted to try finding a way around it, LOL!

I was reading an interesting book about womens' health and it suggested looking at walking not as exercise, but as a chance to get out in the fresh air on your own to think and meditate on your life. Sounds much better than exercising. Changing my frame of mind about these things has helped me heaps. The funny thing is, once I get out there, I love it. Coco usually has me giggling about something within no time, I listen to embarrassing pop music (without fear of mockery from Mr Whitesnake), come up with writing ideas and inspiration for life in general.

Yesterday, I tried getting back into Yoga. Spent most of the time laughing or cursing under my breath. It's a little difficult to stretch and bend with a sore shoulder and a Coco Spaniel sticking her head in your face. I was surprised how much flexibility I have lost in the last couple of years. I used to do muscle strengthening exercises a couple of times a week at home or at the gym but it seems I'm getting a little stiff and worse for wear as I age. I've noticed quite a difference since I've turned 40. Perhaps I'll persevere with the yoga a bit longer before trying something else.

Everything is going well with me at the moment and I'm feeling happy, loved and motivated.

That's all for now folks.

Love KB


Life Makeovers - Cheryl Richardson

Tuesday, 1 June 2010


I was lucky enough to spend time with my dear friend Discoverylover. We met online a few years ago and I adopted her as my online daughter. We have been good friends ever since and this is the third time we've managed to meet face to face. Yay! I love having visitors, I set them to work immediately.

Jay spotted this interesting sign while we were out and about.

We spent the rest of the afternoon chatting and looking at Jay's pics from her overseas adventures.

Coco was so excited to see Jay again that she had to hump her bed.

Jay's in the shower...AGAIN!

We picked Steve up from work and he cooked a delicious bbq. Yummy.

It was wonderful to see Jay again. I hadn't seen her for almost two years but when we met again, it was like I'd just seen her yesterday. We had lots of fun and laughs.

Love you Jay. Don't forget to eat your veggies, tidy your room and get some sleep.

Love KB