GOLDEN OLDIES

When one travels by cruise ship, one comes to accept the fact that a large percentage of passengers will be senior citizens. This comes with certain advantages. It feels good to walk into a room and be one of the youngest (for a change). To sit down at the bar and be asked, "How are you young lady?"

However, the bad outweighs the good by far. Now don't get me wrong, many of the seniors are great fun but the majority think they own the place.

The lunch hooter sounds and they're off. These docile men and ladies become monsters. They charge off down the corridors, brandishing their walking sticks and woe be tide anyone who gets in their way.

And have you seen them eat? They consume plate after plate of meals and they sure can pack away those deserts.

An hour after lunch, the ship is deserted while they nap. Ah, heaven - no shouting, no complaining about EVERYTHING, just peace and quiet.

Afternoon tea comes along and they are lined up outside the dining hall waiting for their next feed. It's been all of an hour since they last ate. Where the hell do they put it all?

The meal is often followed by bingo. I've been too scared to venture into this sacred place, otherwise know as The Bingo Hall. I've seen them in there with their huge marker pens, banging away at their numbered pads. I have a feeling if someone my age shouted out, "Bingo!", they'd attacked me with thier walking sticks.

It's not all bad though. The early evening comes around, their bellies full, they head to the dance floor. Arms entwined, they glide around the floor, (walkers and sticks forgotten), looking into each others eyes and remembering why they fell in love all those years ago.

Aww, a wonderful sight to behold. It's hard to imagine these graceful gentlemen and ladies are the same people who will be fighting over the last sausage come breakfast time.