AWWW - PASS THE TISSUES

FLASH 55 - A PRIVATE ORDEAL

Sometimes I feel anxious inside
Need to escape, run and hide
Hard to move, the walls closing in
Heart pounding, a terrible din
Beginning to sweat now, starting to shake
I knew coming out was a huge mistake
Leaving early ,friends think I'm mad
Hard to explain...
I've missed half the great times we've had

I wrote this poem about five years ago. The original version is much longer but I hope you still understand the meaning. It was a very hard time in my life; I suffered severe anxiety attacks on a daily basis. I had no idea at the time what I was experiencing and I thought I was going quite mad. It got to the stage I couldn't go out anywhere in public without feeling anxious and of course, the more I worried about it, the worse the anxiety became. Luckily, I went to the Doc and she explained to me that what I was going through was very common and I wasn't losing my mind.

It's difficult to explain to someone who hasn't suffered an anxiety attack, what it's like. For me it was like having an outer body experience, I was there but not, as it where. I was so involved with what was going through my mind and the sensations my body was experiencing...reality would blur and all I could think about was removing myself from the situation.

I still have the occasional anxiety attack but they are few and far between. I've accepted the fact, anxiety will always be my 'Achilles heel'

You may be wondering why I am sharing this here. One of the surprising things I learned from all this was, how many people I know who have suffered through anxiety at some stage in their lives. Why didn't they say something? Knowing I wasn't alone would have made the whole experience so much easier for me.

If you suffer from anxiety or know someone who does...talk about it, it truly does help.

Ha, you all thought I called myself Krazy cause I like to act the fool. Well now ya know, I really am a nutter and proud of it.

Love ya
KB
xxxxxxx

BY REQUEST - HERE YA GO, DL

I decided it was time for a change. Me thinks the first of many as I seem to be experiencing some kind of mid-life crisis since turning 40, hehe. I love my new do. The only problem I'm having is feeling the cold, I've been wearing a scarf all day cause my neck is so cold.

Hubby was hoping that having less blonde hair would reduce my blonde moments. This doesn't seem to be the case. Earlier this evening, I was trying to add seasoning to the fish I was preparing. I assured hubby the grinder I was using was broken. He proceeded to take of the lid and give me THAT look.

Woohoo! The blondness has not faded!

BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID.

I WANT SEX...AND THE CITY, OF COURSE

Sex, shoes, gossip, laughs, Cosmopolitans, more shoes and BIG. What more could a Krazy Blonde want? I can't wait!

MIND OR BODY?

I was watching an episode of Boston Legal the other night. One of the story lines was regarding an elderly man with Alzheimer's (a topic close to my heart as my Grandad suffered with this disease), his daughter wished to ease his pain with drugs and let him die peacefully and with some dignity. A line from the show which touched me,(I can't remember the exact words), was, we wouldn't put a dog through the misery of soiling itself or crying out in pain and confusion whenever it was touched - we would put it to sleep.

My Grandad was a brave, proud man. He raised a family, fought for his country, he believed in God, he was a marathon runner, never smoked, ate healthy food and hardly ever drank alcohol. He kept his mind active with his work and completed the crossword every day. In other words; he did all the things we are told will help keep mind, body and soul healthy.

I'd rather not share how his mind and body disintegrated became but I will say, it was a blessing in the end that he didn't know what was happening to him because he would have felt humiliated.

My Mum, is a caregiver for the elderly. She shares many stories of her time at work; some hilarious, others heartbreaking.

One of the ladies she cares for packs her bag every day and waits for her son to take her home. He never arrives, in fact, he doesn't even bother to visit anymore. She will forget this by morning and wake up expectantly with the same hope.

Another of Mum's ladies is as sharp as a tack. She's intelligent and wise but her frail body doesn't allow her out of bed most days.

With all the medical breakthroughs these days, people are living longer. But at what cost? What's the point of having a healthy body if the mind has gone and vice versa?

One of the lessons I have learned from my Grandad's death is it's important to look after our body and mind but not at the expense of living life. Everything in moderation is the key.

You only live once-but if you work it right, once is enough.

Joe.E.Lewis

HELLS GATE, ROTORUA, NEW ZEALAND

The Hells Gate geothermal reserve was formed approximately 10,000 years ago as a series of geothermal eruptions when an ancient lake drained to form lakes Rotoiti and Rotorua. The removal of the water caused faulting of the rock allowing the violent escape of steam, gases and hot fluids. Hells Gate is different from the other thermal reserves in the Rotorua/Taupo area, as its heat source is only 1.5 - 2kms below the surface whereas the other thermal reserves' heat source is approximately 10+Kms under the surface. The temperature of the pools and cliffs range from 68 to 380 degrees C.







The Sulphur Crystal Valley, is covered in deposited sulphur that condenses from the geothermal stream. The blackened areas highlight a unique phenomena - spontaneous combustion which occurs when deposited sulphur reaches approx 120 degrees C from ground and sun heat, ignites then burns at 380 degrees C causing silica rocks to melt and flow like laver. In this area you can feel the heat of the earth under your feet by touching the flat rocks in the paths which are always warm to the touch. So cool, or should I say HOT!



The outline of this pool imitates that of Australia, it's shape was not man made. Well obviously because they would have made a map of New Zealand NOT Australia. Unfortunately, I couldn't get the whole pool in the photo, if I'd stepped any further back; I would have ended up in a hot pool and been a deep, fried blonde. The temperature is approx 48 degrees C, which is lukewarm when compared with the rest of the park. Ahhh, maybe that's why it's a map of Australia instead of NZ. *giggles*

Many Australians have asked where Tasmania is and although invited to make a suitable hole, the offer has yet to be taken up. Too funny!




I recommend a visit to Hells Gate if you are ever in the area. It's a short, easy walk with fascinating history. Well, according to the brochure, the walk takes 45 mins but if you are KB and have to point at everything and have blonde moments, such as touching steaming rocks and exclaiming with surprise how hot they feel, it takes much longer. I could have stayed there all day. Well worth a visit.

On another note, I have discovered one of the reasons the rest of NZ loathes Aucklanders.

Hells Gate cashier - "Which country are you from?"

KB - "Auckland, I mean NZ."


Oh, you should have seen the look she gave me. Whoops!

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude.

- William James

Oh, me likey this one!

Later gators
xxxxx