LOVE POEMS

WOMAN'S LOVE POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks.
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed.
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind.
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

MAN'S LOVE POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and hunting. This
doesn't rhyme, and I don't give a shit...

BORN EVIL

WARNING: CONTAINS CONTENT ON RAPE AND TORTURE

I recently watched the movie, “Wolf Creek”. It’s based on events which took place in Australia a few years ago.

Basically, a man drugged, abducted, raped and tortured three young adults. One of the victims escaped but the two girls were never found. According to the young man who escaped, there was evidence that this monster had been abducting people for some time.

I have quite a strong stomach for horror stories but I had to turn this one off half way through and forward to the end. The images were sickening and I find real life stories much scarier than fiction. It’s been ten days since I watched it but I still see the images when I close my eyes at night. I can’t imagine how experiencing such an ordeal would affect a person.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how someone could torture another human being for pleasure. Apparently, a person who tortures another for sexual gratification, can’t be aroused any other way. I wonder if someone who if purely evil is born that way. Do they posses a certain gene others don’t? Are they evil because of life trauma or is it a combination of both? Could someone who is born this way be rehabilitated?

So many unanswered questions. I guess only time will tell.

The final scene of the film still gives me chills. A lone hunter, walking off into the sunset, in search of his next victim…he’s still out there.

EVER HEARD OF A SHEEWEE?

The blurb says:

STAND UP AND TAKE CONTROL

Are you wearing multi layers of clothing?
Add this tube to the end of sheewee to lengthen the outlet pipe:

Perfect for skiing, climbing, trekking, sailing…

Friends of mine bought this for me last Christmas. They thought it would come in handy when I’m camping.
It’s purpose had to be explained to me. Apparently, you use it to pee standing up. Eeeewwwwwww.

Hmmm, it’s not often I’m speechless but…I was gob smacked.

People buy me the strangest gifts!!!

DANGEROUS CURVES

I rarely read women’s magazines because I find most of their content useless. My Mum gave me a few to take to the beach, so I thought I’d take a look.

I was disgusted. I’ve never read such drivel or seen so many pictures of undernourished women.

Article after article of quotes by stick figures saying they can eat what they like and never have to work out. What kind of role models are these people for our young girls?

Out of five magazines, I could only find a couple of articles worth reading. I found this quote from Kate Beckinsale quite refreshing, “I have days when I feel great and then I have days when my arse won’t fit into my jeans. I guess when you become an actress you hope those fat - arse days will go away but of course, they don’t”. Yay, finally some honesty.

I struggled with my body image for years. I hated my curves when I was a teenager and experimented with diet pills, laxatives, smoking and exercising to lose weight. I lost a lot of weight but I wasn’t any happier.

I remember finally coming to my senses after reading an article about bulimia and thinking vomiting after eating would be worth trying. What a wake up call that was.

I eventually accepted the fact that I would never be the shape of the women I saw in magazines. I still have days when I wish I were slimmer but most days I am happy just the way I am. I’m a woman, I’m supposed to have boobs, hips and an arse - there’s nothing wrong with that.

BACK FROM THE BEACH

I’ve been resting up at the beach for the past few days.

Visited a couple of my favourite spots:

Waipu Cove - pronounced, Why-pooh

Uretiti Beach - pronounced, Your - a - titty

Kuntoro Orchards - don’t think I need to explain this one!

I find Uretiti especially amusing as it’s a nudist beach.

The weather wasn’t great (good excuse to wear my wellies) so we spent the time reading, doing crosswords, writing, eating, drinking and shopping.

Hip and head are healing nicely but I’m still not 100%.

Hope you are all well.

Its good to be home.

NOT QUITE THE VALENTINES DAY I HAD ENVISIONED

Hi all,

A couple of days ago I experienced a nasty fall while at the supermarket. I slipped on some spilt milk, bumped my head on a trolley and landed on my hip. I'm sure it was quite a funny sight but it sent me into shock at the time. I have a huge lump on my hip and my neck and head are still causing me some discomfort.

Therefore, I will be taking it easy for a few days and resting up. I'll get around to answering your comments and visiting your blogs when I'm feeling a bit better. I'm thinking of posting a pic of my bruise soon as it's shaping up to be a real beauty. I'll see if I can get a pic of it which doesn't show too much of my bum, hehe. Least I still have my sense of humour I suppose.

Happy Valentines to me!

P.S. Why isn't my spell check working???? I can't cope without it...must have wine!

P.P.S. Least it's a good excuse to stay in bed and watch Super 14 Rugby all weekend.

F WORDS

The beautiful Whangarei Falls is one of the places we visited while on hols recently. The water falls over steep cliffs of a height of 26.3 metres. We followed a track down one side and back up the other, which took about 15 mins.



Whagarei is a Maori word; any word starting with the letters wh in Maori is pronounced as f. One of my favourite Maori words is Whakapapa....sound it out with me people... fok - a - papa. How rude. LMAO!

Followed closely by...Longest place name: Taumata-whakatangihanga-kōauau-a-Tamatea-pōkai-whenua-ki-tāna-tahu (Tamatea, the man with the big knees, who slid, climbed and swallowed mountains, known as landeater, played his flute to his loved one).


Please let me know if I have spelt any words incorrectly, Marja.

WHAT WAS THE HOFF THINKING?

ANIMAL CRUELTY

I've been following Eve's progress since Christmas. She's a ridgeback puppy who was found locked under her owner's house without food or water. She was too weak to walk and was described as looking like a "chicken carcass". A spokesperson from SPCA estimates she hadn't been properly fed for FIVE weeks.

OMG, I'm crying as I write this. I remember seeing the horrific pics of her while I was at the supermarket and bursting into tears. How can people do this to animals? They should be shot! The heartless bastards still haven't been found but I'm happy to report, Eve is doing well and has been placed with a new family.

Click on the link below to visit her blog and read more of her story. There's a cute video on there too (makes me cry every time).

Eve's Blog

FAT BOY SWALLOWS COCO

Usually my girl comes rushing to see me as soon as I open the bedroom door. She was nowhere to be found this morning. I began to wonder if I'd drank so much wine the night before that I couldn't remember putting her outside.

I heard this little whimper and there she was sitting on my bean bag. Every time she moved, she sunk further into it so I had to lift her out. *giggles*

Hope the title didn't scare you too much.

FUNNY QUOTE OF THE DAY

"I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink."

Joe.E.Lewis


LMAO...here, here!

Cheers!

CREATIVE JOURNAL WRITING

I've been keeping a journal since I was a teenager. Some days I write page after page, others a few lines will suffice. At times, I think writing about my feelings is the only thing that keeps me sane. That's if I am sane of course. *giggles*

Photo: Pixabay

I'm reading an insightful book at the moment by Stephanie Dowrick called - Creative Journal Writing. I recommend a look to anyone who keeps a journal. Here are some of my favourite excerpts to date:

Journal writing is all about process - not goals of outcome.

It is freeing - not constraining.

Journal writing is also where you can retire the inner critic or judge.

How you write, what you write, matters only to you.

You are writing to please no one but yourself.

Creativity - better than fame and fortune

Many things are far better than fame or fortune.
Love is one of them. Living creatively is another.
Living creatively means tuning in to all your senses and really knowing what’s going on.
It means making quirky connections, and seeking out inspiration, beauty, humour, tenderness and absurdity.
It means liking the subtle as well as the magnificent.
It means valuing your experiences - and making something of them.
Creativity may be expressed through great works of art. But it can also be a way of living that is open, spirited, engaged, eager, curious and uplifting.

Curiosity - the drive to know more than you do now

One of the ultimate gifts of human intelligence (along with a willingness to have your mind or perspective changed). It makes inner growth possible. It rescues you from boredom. It expands you beyond yourself. It demonstrates to you what an awesome and infinitely fascinating universe you inhabit. It also makes you a more interesting and perhaps even a more knowledgeable person.

Stephanie Dowrick


I'm off to write in my journal now.

Later

KB
xxxx