FLASH 55 - EXCUSE ME WHILE MY SKIN CRAWLS OFF

There I was, having a drink at a bar with a friend.

Loser - "Hi."

KB - "Hi."

Loser - " I had to come over and ask..."

KB - "OK."

Loser - "Did it hurt?"

KB - "Pardon?"

Loser - "When you fell from heaven."

I didn't know whether to laugh or slap him.

What's the worst pick up line you've heard?

LIFE BEGINS AT FORTY?

Did you know Kylie and I have something in common? We both turned forty recently.

In an article this morning she states, " Turning forty is a liberating experience".

There I was thinking, "I totally agree. Why do people dread turning 40? I'm feeling great and I'm enjoying every minute of it so far".

I trot off to to my letter box. Mail from my insurance company awaits...

"As Karen has reached the age of 40 years (the next premium age band), your fortnightly premium will change...."

Bugga! What does this mean? I've more chance of becoming ill after I turn forty? Well thanks for not only putting a downer on my birthday but a bigger hole in my bank account too.

Better prepare to put those gold, hot pants in storage Kylie, bad news is on the way.

Love you nutters,

KB

xxxxxxx

P.S. If any of you say Kylie is your favourite blonde rather than me...I WILL kill you.

HOLIDAY TIME, ROTORUA

Hubby, Coco and I were lucky enough to spend a week in Rotorua recently. It's one of my favourite places in New Zealand, (in fact, in the whole world).

Rotorua, is an active volcanic zone where one can experience geothermal earth forces, spa rejuvenation, thrill and adventure, or any of the other natural assets such as 16 lakes, some of the worlds best mountain bike trails, fantastic trout fishing and a myriad of forest walking tracks. Well, that's what the brochure says anyway.

I like to visit because of the walking tracks, (hubby drags me up large mountains, under duress, but I actually kinda of enjoy it...sshhh, don't tell him), the hot spas and the smell of the place. Most people say Rotorua smells of rotten eggs but for some reason, I love it.

COCO'S FAVOURITE PLACE TO RUN AROUND



Coco loves to swim. She jumped in this rather sulphurous lake, jumped out, shook herself off and proceeded to bark at the water. Maybe she didn't like the smell but all was forgotten the next day when she jumped into it AGAIN! She spent the whole trip smelling like Rotorua.




My brother-in-law organised a surprise party for his wife and you know KB hates to miss a party. So, back to the car we go and head home for a couple of days.

KB'S FRUIT AND VEG? I had no idea.



Do ya think we like hugging?





THE BROS



NOT A PARTY WITHOUT SINGING.

Brother-in-law and I are very competitive when it comes to singing. We were up until 4am trying to out do each other, hehe!



Bed time for me. I will update more tomorrow.

Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite.

Love KB
XXXx

INGREDIENTS FOR A FUN SATURDAY NIGHT OUT

KB (of course)




A QUICK DRIVE TO VISIT WITH FRIENDS




FRIENDLY ANIMALS







A FEW SWORDS





DRESS UP TIME

Hmmm, how come Lizzie wears the pig nose and I get the whips and chains?






FINISHED OFF WITH A HUGE MARROW





AH, FUN TIMES

I'M AT A LOSS FOR A TITLE FOR THIS POST

12 percent of Americans believe that Joan of Arc was Noah's wife.

-Allure magazine

CHILDHOOD DREAMS - FLASH 55

Years ago a special girl
Imagined she could change the world
What happens to childhood dreams
They disappear, so it seems
Search her heart once again
Discover dreams remain the same
Looking back in years to come
Will she like what I've become
Will she be a little girl
Wishing she had changed her world

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE A MAN WITH A WHIP

The long awaited Indiana Jones film is released in NZ today. I'm guessing little ole New Zealand is the last to see it (as usual) and many of you have seen it already. I hope it was worth the wait.

I'm a HUGE fan and I can't wait to watch it. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact Harrison Ford looks great in a hat and brandishing a whip...honestly!!!!! Every time I hear the theme song, my knickers pratically fall off! Sorry Mum and Dad...AGAIN!

Woohoo!!!!!!!!

SURPRISINGLY TRUE

Yes, I know it's a meme and some people here *points* don't like seeing memes on blogs. I reckon I can be excused this time because it's about chocolate and you all know how much KB luuuuuuuuvvvvvvvvvvvs chocolate!




What Your Taste in Chocolate Says About You




You are sweet, mellow, and easily satisfied.

You don't like anything too intense and dramatic.

Deep down, you're a kid at heart... and you're nostalgic for the past.



You are laid back and fairly easy to please.

All you need in life is your friends.

Sometimes you go along to get along... but you don't mind.



You love to be in love. You crave romance, whether you're single or not.

You feel lost when you don't feel passion... you need someone to adore.

The Chocolate Oracle

LEST WE FORGET

Came across this little beauty in the local rag.




THE ANZAC STORY



They left behind their families
To travel to Gallipoli, overseas
Waving everybody goodbye
They sigh

As they waded into shore
Circling them was war
Bodies all around them
They die

With crosses at the heads
Of their dirt strewn beds
Poppies all around them
They lie

Mourn they family
And yet, now so do we
On the 25th April
We Cry



-Caitlin Leigh, Auckland, NZ, Aged 11

I must say, it's reassuring to hear youngsters still remember the stories their grandparents have told them about war. Continuing to share these stories - will ensure these brave men and women will not be forgotten.

Which reminds me; I have a war story from my grandad to share...I've been meaning to post it for ages...maybe tomorrow.

I'M BACK

I have many pictures and other bits and pieces to post (including whips, swords, ferrets and a bondage bra)...BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID!

I'm a very tired blonde so I will update tomorrow. Have missed you guys.

Love and kisses

KB
xxxx

BTW...the Blues won this week!!!!! Not many of you will know what I am on about but a Blues win makes KB vewy happy.




Night night

xxxxxxxxx

I'M OUTTA HERE

Hi all

I'm heading out of town to one of my favourite places for a while. *points to above piccie* Be good while I'm gone and if not...tell me all about it on my return.

See you next week
*leaves hugs, kisses and a couple of slaps, just in case*

Love KB
xxxxxxxxx

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

I don't have much time to spare but I wanted to wish my Mum and all the other Mums who are celebrating today, a happy Mother's Day. I've been lucky enough to spend most of the day with my parents and my hubby. We're heading off to celebrate with hubby's Mum now.





I know it's not Mother's Day all over the world but that doesn't matter....give your Mum or a Mum you know a big hug and remember to cherish them every day. Where would we be without our Mums?

Love ya Mum
xxxxxxxxxx

FLASH 55 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

My friend, MISSY, has been encouraging me to join the FLASH 55 club. Every Friday, we write a story with 55 words. It's a lot harder than it sounds actually. My first draft was 140 words, eek! This is my first 55 EVER, so please be gentle!





Childhood memories...
presents, cake, candles, pass the parcel,
hair ribbons, scraped knees.
Today, the cake remains, candles increase,
props assembled for more mature games.

Searching for the girl I used to be.
Is she hidden behind the lines on my face?
Put a smile back on your dial girl.
THE BEST IS YET TO COME!

*RUSHES IN, LEAVES THIS GEM OF A QUOTE AND RUSHES OUT*

"What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others in the world remains and is immortal".

-Albert Pines

Oh me likey!

Why doesn't my spellchecker likey the word likey? I know it's not in the dictionary but it's a MORGY
word and it SHOULD be!

Later gaitors

KB
xxxx

HAIR CUTTING BY THE MOON

Is this article for real? LMAO!

"Did you know that astrology can help you attain a more lustrous head of hair? All you need to do is trim your hair when the waxing moon is in a fertile zodiac sign. This improves the condition and promotes growth".

Followed by my own personal favourite:

"However, it you want to retard hair growth on places such as your legs and underarms, then shave or wax when the waning moon is in a barren zodiac sign. This will thin the hair and slow unwanted growth".

Well, that explains everything!

MAKES ME PROUD TO BE PART OF THE HUMAN RACE...NOT!!!!!!!!

I received the following via email recently:


This is the "Pulitzer prize" winning photo taken in 1994 during the Sudan famine. The picture depicts a famine stricken child crawling towards a United Nations food camp, located a kilometer away.

The vulture is waiting for the child to die so it can eat it. This picture shocked the world. No one knows what happened to the child, including the photographer, Kevin Carter who left the place as soon as the photograph was taken.

Three month later, he committed suicide due to depression.

This was found in his diary ,

Dear God, I promise I will never waste my food no matter how bad it can taste and how full I may be. I pray that He will protect this little boy, guide and deliver him away from his misery. I pray that we will be more sensitive towards the world around us and not be blinded by our own selfish nature and interests.

I hope this picture will always serve as a reminder to us that how fortunate we are and that we must never ever take things for granted.

Please don't break.. keep on forwarding to our friends On this good day. Let's make a prayer for the suffering in anywhere any place around the globe and send this friendly reminder to others Think & look at this...when you complain about your food and the food we wasted daily........







After my initial reaction to the photo - balling my eyes out for ten minutes, I read the text. Apologies to Mum and Dad as I know they sometimes read my wee blog. You have got to be fucking kidding me. Nobody knows what happened to the child? How could anyone see such a thing and not want to protect him/her, pick up the wee child and comfort him/her? And as for the photographer... yes, it's a fantastic photo and deserves recognition but how could anyone witness something so heartbreaking, take a photo, then leave? I'm not surprised he killed himself.

Later on in the day, I received another disturbing email. Apparently, last year, an 'artist' tied up a dog, starved it and put it on display so people could watch it die. I'm crying again as I write this. As if that wasn't bad enough, the exhibition was so successful, he's been asked to do it again this year, in the name of 'art' of course.

There was a link to follow, included in the email but I haven't been able to bring myself to look. I'm still hoping it's a sick prank but I've heard from other people that it's quite legit.

What is the world coming to! Excuse me while I go and vomit.

FOR GRAN

My Gran passed away a couple of years ago. She's been on my mind recently as she would have celebrated her birthday this week.

I used to spend my summer holidays with my Grandparents when I was a girl. I was quiet and shy when I was younger. Don't laugh, it's quite true. I would rather stay inside and read than go outside and play with my friends. Must be making up for it now, hehe!

Anyway, I'm going off on a tangent, as I do. I loved staying with my Gran;her house was like an oasis, somewhere I could go to escape from the real world for a while. Mum would drop me off on her way to work and I'd run inside.

The first thing that would hit me when I opened the door, was the wonderful aroma of bread baking *drools*, often followed by a large dog licking my face (not so appealing). It's hard to explain how I felt when I was there. My Gran treated me like her little princess, I always felt happy, loved and safe when we were together. She would tell me wonderful stories about her life and I'd laugh until the tears ran down my cheeks.

We would spend our days walking the dogs, baking, working in the laundrette (not sure how much help I was there), visiting the library, reading, going to the market, and doing puzzles. Hmmm, funnily enough those are some of my favourite things to do...except the baking and laundry. I definitely missed out on the baking gene which the rest of my family have.

Gran's house was always full of cats and dogs. Stray dogs would often follow
us home and we'd look after them until we could find a new home for them. I can remember her having as many as four cats and three dogs at one time - KB HEAVEN!



Sometimes I think I get my blondness from Gran and I don't mean the colour of my hair. I remember when I was about ten years old, Gran wanted me to have my picture taken with a pony. I love animals but this little horse looked a bit feisty to me. I told Gran I wasn't keen on standing next to it. She told me I was being silly and the pony was totally harmless. She proceeded to climb over the fence and stand next to the 'harmless' pony. The pony took one look at her and kicked her up the arse. I can still see the expression on Gran's face. Priceless! Does that sound like something that would happen to me or what? LMAO!

I was lucky enough to spend six weeks with her the year before she died. One day, she took me aside and removed a small note book from her bedside table. It was tattered and torn and obviously well used. I was delighted when I discovered what was inside. There were pages and pages of favourite quotes, poems and stories she had written. She used it to write down thoughts when she couldn't sleep at night.

When I told her I did exactly the same thing, she grinned from ear to ear. All those years I thought I was the only person in the family who was interesting in such things. I should have know it was something I had in common with Gran. We are similar in so many ways.


I miss her very much and love her dearly. If I turn out to be even half the woman she was...I'll be happy.

Love ya Gran
From your little princess
xxxxxxx

INTERVIEW WITH A BLONDE

Aww, my fellow blonde in crime, MORGY interviewed me this afternoon. If you wanna know what crazy blondes talk about....Go pay her a visit and tell her I sent ya.

Love KB

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx




P.S. Thanks for the signs Toadee. I'm thinking of using the big boobie one, not sure yet. xxxx

PRESSIES GALORE

Here are some of my cards and pressies, some are missing because I drank them already. Most of my cards had a drink theme and most of my pressies were beauty products. Are you trying to tell me something? Should I be afraid? Will I be in need of more face creams now I've hit 40? Bugga!

Love ya

KB
xxxx