My regular readers will know I have had many issues with panic attacks and anxiety disorder in the past. It's one of the reasons I began blogging, I found being able to write and tell complete strangers how I was feeling, really helped me. Now I have made HUGE changes in my life, my anxiety is manageable, I've come off my medication and the strangers I used to rant to have become my friends. Last week, I was feeling happy and balanced and then out of the blue I had a HUGE panic attack. I was really shocked and to be honest, quite frightened by it.
The past couple of days, I've been calming myself down, with the help of my darling Whitesnake and thinking a lot about what brought it on. I'm feeling much better today but still a little out of sorts. In the past my panics have been because I have had problems to work through but I honestly feel that I had this panic because I was feeling so happy. I know it sounds crazy but after all I've been through, I'm not used to things going so well. I'm scared I don't deserve it and now that I am at a place I am content, it will be taken away from me. Self-sabotage me thinks. What do you think?
Anyway, I have some really fantastic work books I use when I feel this way and I am going to have a read today. I also find that when I am feeling anxious, it's often because I haven't been looking after myself and slipping back into those bad habits like drinking too much wine, not exercising etc, so I'll look at this as an opportunity to get myself back on track health wise.
So I just wanted to let you know that I probably won't be around much for the next couple of days but I'm doing OK. Time for some KB self reflection me thinks.